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Speak to My Finger
Books
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Caught in a moment
Monday, February 17, 2014
Someone asked me why I never had a boyfriend as of to date. Actually I didn't know how to answer on the spot. I was caught on the spot. I think I answered stupidly and nervously...

But after much thoughts after that conversation, I reflected for the whole night and realised it's because whenever I looked for a relationship, my heart always says wait, wait a little longer. Although I have lots of proposal, some of these nice guys turned out not what they are. I saw their true colours every time I almost gave in to their persistence, and I have to thank myself for being patient. I have to thank my heart.

And so now I was wondering did my patience pay off? I think so. I think I'm more mature now but still very blur when someone mentioned something about relationship. I think the person who asked me that question knows that very well. I didn't change from the first time you asked me in 2011. Haha. That's so renaye.

renaye - mental note: CHILL.

I think also my parents marital status influenced my thinking a lot on relationship. No doubt I said I don't wanna married or I wanna be alone. But that does not mean I mean it. I'm flexible. If I found the right person, I don't mind giving up being alone. But I know mainly that I have happiness within me. Hence, I don't need my partner to give me happiness. In fact, I will contribute this happiness to the relationship. That is what relationship is about - creating happiness together, not relying a battery to do so.

I want a happy relationship that is full of laughter and joy. I didn't really bother to look for relationship because I was waiting. Waiting for the one to come my door step because I am lazy to hunt. Waiting to see if my faith proves me wrongly.

For all these years, my heart keeps saying no but now it has finally says yes. Most probably I have disinfect my parent's woes off my system that I'm trying to learn to love and be loved.

Recently, in a meditation, I had a message. It was short and confusing. They are Love him & Love her. It took me days to understand it. A way to heal two emotionally-scared people is to learn to love each other.

Good things will come to people who wait. hmm..

I read somewhere on FB that it is easy to say I love you, but it is not when comes to waiting and being patience. True love is about being patient and never stop loving the person during the waiting period. It makes sense. Of course, don't let her/his hair turn white la.

I hope the person will appreciate my patience and my nonsensical topics. Aww... I will try to be a better listener...

Happy day, humans!
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