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Speak to My Finger
Meowing WAR

Books I have completed reading since January 2018:

1. No Man's Nightingale - Ruth Rendell
2. One Day - David Nicholls
3. The Door - Margaret Atwood
amok feelings
Saturday. 6.30.12 10:36 am
i know i have been running away from making difficult decisions. i tried to go through the things that i need to decide.

i actually have decided to study masters locally but my fortune says i have to get it abroad. this years is the year for me to get out of the country. a tarot card reader also said i must get it abroad. if not, i will be dreadfully stress.

i really want to make decisions not based on the tarot cards results, but it is my higher self telling me things that i have blinded myself to.

i think i know why i will be strssed to the max should i persist locally. i first have to deal with my sister whom we have not spoken to each other for coming 7 years. and i will be extremely stress when my dad comes back for good. and not forgetting how my mother has and still driving me to nuts.

so much stress, so much unhappiness, so much sadness.

i can feel the anguish inside me. i can feel the stress building inside me and i dont know how to overcome my current life plateau.

never ending frustration is eating me inside out. if only i could talk to someone who has been in my shoes and has overcome it for i would like to seek advise.

even if i dont study abroad, i would still need to stay outside of my family to be sane.

as i am typing this, i could hear weeping sound and frustration coming from inside me.
i dont think i have been smiling or laughing as much as i did before. nor have i been spending time with myself.

i need to remind myself that the storm will pass. how did i stay sane for all these years?

I think we all cope with family in our own ways.. I feel you, on some level, and I know I make excuses to stay when I know it would be better for me to leave. I've been spending a lot of time on my own (because they're not around) and I think if you can sustain yourself, leaving will do you a lot of good. It is not running away, it is saving your sanity and at the same time opening yourself to more opportunities.

My tarot says that my situation probably will continue being this way for the near future and I need to be aware of when I'm subconsciously running people over with my standards.
» Nuttz on 2012-06-30 01:24:52

:< I feel for you.

Do what is best for yourself.
I understand how it can be with parents and family. One of my professors gave me some simple but effective advice and it was to remember that your parents are just people.

I hope you feel more at peace soon.

ps. I'd love to give you an autograph hahaha
» dont-see on 2012-07-01 09:38:07



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