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Speak to My Finger
Meowing WAR





Books
Books I have completed reading since January 2018:

1. No Man's Nightingale - Ruth Rendell
2. One Day - David Nicholls
3. The Door - Margaret Atwood
Room 5XX
Monday, January 2, 2012


On 14 December 2011 ...

I was resting on the sofa in our cabin in the afternoon, while spacing out and gazing at my cabin mates walking around in our cabin. The day before we had nightmare from packing our luggage to check out. I was indeed exhausted accompanied with backache and a twisted foot. I don't know ... but I'm always amuse to watch my roomie from Thailand doing things ... and ... she was placing her handbag next to her pillow on the upper bunk. (We slept on a double decker). She was about to leave the room but she returned to re-position the bag properly and I SNAPPED from revery.

My breathing stopped. My eyes won't leave her pillow. My heart started to race. I was overwhelmed with a familiar fear I have known a long time ago...

IT is there. IT is watching me with a strong presence lingering in the air ...

What should I do?!

My Thai roomie left the room immediately she arranged the bag. I was alone in the room. I dare not say "GET OUT" fearing the unknown future. What should I do?!

I averted away and calculated my options while stabilising my heart beat with slow breathing, but it didn't help. I reached to a decision, which is to stay in the room even though I should leave the room immediately. I chose this option because there is nowhere else I can go to rest since I wanted to nap.

This is not the first time IT was watching me. In fact this is its third time. If I didn't had any disturbance earlier, it should be OK to be in the same room with IT, I assured myself despite feeling very uncomfortable.

So I acted normal. I started tidying the room ...

I was relieved to hear the admin's announcement for my contingent to check out the luggage at 4 pm-ish. I gladly left the room and returned at 4.30 pm, and was disappointed for the presence didn't leave at all. Not even a tiny bit!

My cabin mates were nowhere in sight. And I was dying to say out loud about the fear I was experiencing. I wanted to tell my cabin mates!! When one of my cabin mates returned in the evening after dinner, I wanted to tell her "Please stay with me," but the words caught in my throat, and I saw her left the room ...

I was alone again. And I was tired. I napped hoping IT would be gone. Instead, I woke up to the overwhelmed uneasiness. The race in my heart didn't subside at all... In fact, how can I even sleep knowing there IS something else in the room?

Sensing it might not leave any time soon, I decided to leave the room to catch up with friends when I still can command fear and anxiety ...

Later at night

"Roomies??? I have something to share with you on the 16th of December before we leave ..." I said.

Spinoff: My worst fear is to be disturbed via dreams or seeing shadows and reflection not belong to me in the mirrors in my cabin. I somewhat anticipated to experience such encounter. I just pray that my encounter would be less scary than the last time I had in 2011. I'm fed up and tired of feeling frightened even in my own home. Thus, I'm sorta grateful that I only experienced this encounter the second last day of my departure. I shared this encounter with a close friend, and we were both glad that it happened on the 14th of December not November. Phew~ But it really is a torture not being able to tell my Thai roomie for more than 20 days that IT was on her bed.

I remember the first two times it happened ... We were not in as we were attending some activities - I think discussion group - but occasionally I sneaked out to get food from my room. It first happened one afternoon. I went back to my room to grab something. The moment I stepped into the room, I felt something watching me from the upper bunk. But as usual, I ignored it, telling myself I'm just too sensitive. It was gone the next time I returned to the room. Just didn't know why the third time ... was ... more eerie...

On one hand, I'm glad that I'm not the type of people who can see the unseen clearly. I could only see shadows and occasionally body parts like hands and feet. Sigh. On the other hand, I fear my level of sensitivity is returning to the level I once had 10 years ago. Oh well, just bring it on!

By the way, I felt better after leaving the room. I visited a friend and in the middle of our chat, this pal suggested to go to my room. I seriously went gag. Instead, I suggested to go out to get some fresh air. And we did ...

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