Books I have completed reading since January 2018:
1. No Man's Nightingale - Ruth Rendell
2. One Day - David Nicholls
3. The Door - Margaret Atwood
Friends and Enemies
Akatsuki: Nightmares & Dreamscapes
-beats in my head-
Chika-Chin's Anime Mania!
empty white space
In My World
My Blah blah Bulogu
My Little World
Sdovelly~ c'est la vie
Serene's Silent Secrets
Shuffle and Repear
Tolanic's Travel Blog
Thursday, April 21, 2011
You know what? I never asked god to be pretty. I never asked god to have guys falling for me. I never asked god to make me to some guy's fantasy. And yet, god has given me a beautiful face. For all my life, I have many guys falling for me, and I never even care or never even had a boyfriend. I simply don't care about my love life.
Why am I saying all this thing all of a sudden? Because I recently feel violated since Wednesday night. A male friend of mine invited me and another female friend for a cultural performance. And after the performance, we went for dinner. The three of us were sitting cozily at the corner of the restaurant, and chatting away with politics and cultural topics. And I don't recall how did we jump into the topic of sex. This male friend I know have always like me since 2008, and he even proposed me marriage several times. It's like every time we meet up, he will propose to me, and I decline as always. And he will always comment back that I 'jual mahal' (jual mahal is often used for girls who are picky in selecting boyfriend. It's a Malay phrase).
I never like to discuss about my love life. I never like to talk about why I'm not having boyfriend. I'm not like those girls who thinks she must have a boyfriend for whatever reasons.
Anyways, I don't know why this male friend suddenly talking about sex topic. And he was telling my friend who is the youngest among us that female has nine places of weaknesses. Because of this 'knowledge', he can drive any girls crazy about him. Well, I was not impressed so was she. She was answering back that people can resist temptation, so why would she be crazy? But his reply was disturbing. Just read the conversation we had:
Guy: You know girls have nine places of weaknesses... that guys can drive them crazy about them.
She: Huh??? Can?
Guy: Yea can ... like caressing her arm ... (he demonstrated on my arm)
Renaye: (busy eating her pizza)
Guy: You know I can make any girls like you all go crazy...
She: (thinking pause) No ... I definitely can resist...
Guy: You definitely cannot because I know your weaknesses that can make you go crazy about me ... Another place is the knee...
Renaye: (feeling disturbed but hidden in her chewing)
Guy: I definitely can make her go crazy, but I won't ... (fishy smiling)
Guy: Yea ... I can make her go crazy about me ....
Renaye: Are you not late for your meeting now?
Guy: Yea ... but never mind ...
We continue eating, but he still talked about making girls go crazy about him until ... he left our table for the subway.
Guy: Yea I can make girls go crazy about me ...
She: But why would I be crazy?!
Guy: No ... I would be able to make her go crazy ...
She: No ... I won't go crazy ...
Guy: But I would definitely be able to make her go crazy about me .. but I just won't do it ...
Did you know who the 'her' he was referring to? It was me. The way he said it... the way he emphasised the 'her' ... the way he said 'i would make her go crazy about me' while pointing at me... I feel so violated ....
I'm feeling even worse now than the time I was molested by my senior. The eyes .. the gesture .. the body language while directing that sentence to me... I have never felt such violation.
I'm taking it as verbal sexual harassment. Actions can be taken in working place, but among friends. Can it be done? I have told him from time to time that I'm not comfortable with this kind of topic, and have politely say several times to respect me and my love life decisions, but he would just say "I say whatever I like and whenever I want."
I actually never feel what I'm feeling now when we were in the restaurant ... I only reflected on it since yesterday and felt awful now... My friend who was with us would definitely say to forget it ... but if a serial killer has targeted you, would you be able to forget it? That is the feeling I'm experiencing now - being targeted. He is definitely not going to rape me whatsoever, but I was targeted in the whole conversation. Do you really know how I feel? It's disturbing. It's violating. It's offensive. I have been offensively teased.
That is why I have said many times that money is much better than men. Now you know why. And so what if men are more educated? Do you think some men will behave like what we expect to think? It's a wishful thinking, because this guy is a lawyer.
I've never heard good stories about male Chinese lawyers.... Don't think I know any either..
» Nuttz on 2011-04-22 12:03:28
Oh. EW.... That's even worse.
» Nuttz on 2011-04-22 04:24:42
What an awful person. Just drop him as a friend and an acquaintance. Never have anything to do with him anymore.
» mun (126.96.36.199) on 2011-04-22 10:11:24
RYC: Yes, he could have misunderstood you. By agreeing to yum cha with him, he may think you like him but are playing hard to get. Since you can't cut him off, the next time he says things like that, you could ask him point blank, who is the "her" he is referring to. If he answered "you" then tell him that you definitely do not appreciate being talked about that way. Put him firmly back into his place. I really dislike guys like this - no respect for girls at all and think that they are great but can't take rejection.
» mun (188.8.131.52) on 2011-04-23 05:15:55
Sure! A reading list competition sounds cool! Will put it up here soonish =)
» Nuttz on 2011-04-24 09:50:58
Just tell him off in front everyone. Best to do so rather then him saying like that at the back of you.. because sometimes it be to late to do anything.
The longer you ignore this, the worst it become.. next thing you know 1 or 2 of your friends come and ask you, did you really sleep with him or did all kind of things he told? lol I knew a few girls who experience it. :)
» Adriel D.K (184.108.40.206) on 2011-04-25 12:35:42
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» Noe (18.104.22.168) on 2011-07-08 04:33:53
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