I was invited to a Starbucks cheer party this evening, where we are supposed to spend good time with the kids from some orphanage. I actually thought it was boring. Serious. A handful of adults only played with the kids and the rest mingled among themselves and there were a few doing some serious financial reading on the couch. As for me, I just sat on one of the couches chatting with some of newly made friends. Bernard was having a great time when he played with the kids and so are other online friends I just met. I seriously feel I have really grown up. Not to praise myself anything but I seriously could feel I have really matured a lot given in I am already matured from my upbringing and the things I read. I used to get into bad mood easily whenever I attended a boring party. I would actually show my impatience body language and just walk off within 30 minutes of an event when I feel it's not beneficial to me. But tonight, however, I stayed on and enjoyed every minute of it. I had really thought of walking out from the party, however, my own voice told me to stay on and not to let the boringness bother me. I was glad I listened because even though it was not that exciting, I did really enjoy tonight's party in a way by chatting with the Starbucks staff and just hang around for the party atmosphere. It lightened me up. And I finally told myself that this kind of boring event contributed to what I am now. There's always something to appreciate in everything we do in every minute unconciously.

Apart from that, my own voice got pretty pissed this afternoon during my vocal lesson. It simply told me "Cut the crap. Concentrate. And don't try ur best in singing just because the phlegm caught up in my throat." It was pretty surprising. It never happened before. It usually just gives me advices and opinions on matters, not scolding me! But somehow I obliged and I did pretty well in today's class even though I screwed up the first vocal exercise. My teacher all of a sudden asked me if I want to perform in the next recital while I was singing True Colours by Cyndi Lauper. I was happy about the request since she has been smiling to herself and once praising herself "I'm a good teacher" when I was singing some songs, which simply means I have improvement! But I turned it down. I don't think I would want to peform in public for some time. I just want a break. I have experienced in performing with several number of people from 2 to 10 000. I seriously hated the pressure of practising for the chase of perfection. I like to do things relaxingly. I don't ever want to undergo those pressure again. This is what I told my teacher but of course I might want to perform in the future but not for now. Because of all these experiences of being the forefront, I now want to experience of being a backstage person. I think that's more challenging than performing.

Oh well, I'm grateful for my little voice advises today. If not, I won't have improvement on my own well-being.

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» Sherwood (222.161.137.199) on 2010-09-02 03:55:23

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