I think I'm recently very stress. Not the typical stress like from work or pressure. But simply from interactions. I'm sick of interacting with stalkers. I always need to tell them repeatedly to shake their shadows off me. And them replying me "it was an excruciating pain of hearing that." Then what about my pain of suffering being hounded? Sometimes I don't know if the stalkers realise the pain of being rejected is also a deep cut to the rejectors like me because I'm seriously fed up of telling guys to give up on me repeatedly. They don't leave you after you tell them once. They come again and again. They just love torturing you. And then when you finally blow up in a polite way. They tell you "don't be mad because you are not cute in that form." I'm simply wordless.

Why am I so mad? And why is my entry always about stalkers? Nothing else to talk about? Actually I have a wonderful day today until I got into a fight with my sister. I went shopping for punjabi suit at Masjid India today. Holycow the most colourful market I have ever seen! But back to my question. I'm mad because I was in a hurry to buy a punjabi suit just because I want to avoid 'collateral damage' in any form and way. The objective of getting that is to wear to a friend's wedding next week. I wanted to wear baju kurung but thinking of the effect... I cringed and I want to cry but no tears. You imagine you can't wear that because a stalker likes to see you in that costume... And what does a stalker do? Their eyes never left you. I don't want to be spied. And worse still I don't want my costume to excite him. Imagine I have to take all precautions and asking my friends to sit beside me at all times. My friend even offered me to sit beside her husband. How sweet. But of course I said I will sit beside her. My current question is why the hell am I suffering?

Can you imagine this suffering is just cause by one guy? And I'm tired of people of not understand other people's feelings and respecting people's decision. Yes I know I sometimes brush people's feelings and sometimes aggresively sideline their decision but that's a different story. (Yes I know some of the readers are groaning about it). What I want to say in this context is similar to this scenario: You don't like vegetable and I know you don't. So when I see you not eating, I don't force you. Is that fair? The same concept. That was what got me into a fight with my sister. The same thing to guys who don't get off my tails.

Maybe that explains a lot why I want solitude. The lesson you can learn from this entry is if you like someone and want to be his/her partner, please don't make yourself irritating and annoying. Try doing it 'professionally' which means don't be pushy and please choose your words properly when talking. If the potental partner keeps declining stop pouring words like "you don't need to work so hard if you have a boyfriend" or "you will have someone to take care of you". If you just did even you say it casually you, you have just irritated the person. Congratulations. And please remember that since you want to give a good impression on people. You want a good name.

One more thing is to someone named C.C.Ho. Thank you for reading my blog but I have been freaking out since you told me you are reading my blog "very closely" last night. Nothing wrong with it but I just don't know why the way you said it really made me insecure like I have been a prime target.... I'm sorry to have to pass the message like this. I'm not a coward and I will tell you that again when we chat. So the song "Don't go breaking my heart" sang by Elton John and Olivia Newton John is highly dedicated to you.

Oh well thank you for supporting my blog. The website (http://books2sell.nutang.com) to sell books is already up some time ago and it will be always be updated.

Happy ranting about my useless entry.

Hm.. this stalker.. want me beat him up?
» Dilated on 2007-12-23 09:31:48

Gosh renaye... I know half of how you feel. Good luck kicking them away.. it sure is hard.
» Nuttz on 2007-12-23 10:58:14

thank you. merry christmas to you too!
» s0uldeep on 2007-12-24 07:59:40

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