Speak to My Finger

i read back my previous entry.

it was nostalgic. that must have felt by my former alliance leader too.

a lot of things happened in the game since my last entry. i changed to another alliance, again. it wasn't because i was hungry for growth whatsoever. i had a fallout with the leader, and i could not stand bigot egoistic guy, like him.

he was greedy for power, so he expanded the alliance land rapidly. always aiming to cover this and that land. because there were few high ranking, and powerful members. i was one of the members he relied on to conquer the lands. however, he didn't give clear instructions as what time and who should do what. as of this point, i just recruited a few new members who shelters were so weak that i could just burn their shelters easily. and the leader kept saying 'everyone need to relocate'. so i asked for clarification. i have to ask three times in order to be sure these new weak members were not asked to be relocated.

and then when i need to relocate, my fellow friend, who's also the player who relocated to another alliance but still having an account in the alliance, advised me not to relocate because i'd be the easiest to be attacked by the enemy. i don't have strong barricade, bla bla, and i knew he meant well. so i listened to him, and explained to the leader. in fact, the leader also said it's optional to relocate. since he said that, i chose not to relocate so i could also protect the new members.

however, the leader decided to use passive aggressive in bashing at me for not relocating. really dramatic kind of message like 'oh how he can only rely on a few people to conquer' bla bla, twice. and i could not take it. i bashed him in the general chat, telling him to be direct with me if he was criticising him for not helping him. and then he was too late in taking over the land... he constructed a message blaming me indirectly for the wishy washy 'not relocating.'

before that, i had asked him many times, when he wanted the other active players to go online to support him. he kept replying 'depending on my availability' because he runs a cafe in India. err. dude. you mean we all have to follow your timing, right? he liked to tell us 'be online in 30 minutes'. what on earth? you think we are your slaves?

his response to my bashing was very bitter . he said i hated him. in fact, all members hated him, and the bla bla.. and that he would do whatever he wants. so me... just reiterating that he needs to learn to differentiate personal attack and leadership criticism. in short, he needs to improve his leadership and communication.

nope. yada. nada. he took it as a personal insult. the other members relocated with him, and he abandoned them there by relocating back to the main shelter location. and he stayed very far away from the rest of the members, as though in hiding.

from that moment, i recognised the familiarity: dispute with bosses = leave otherwise no happy ending.

i was actually so disturbed by his response due to the bitter vehemence. my god. it's a game, and why the hell am i meeting people like this? ugh....

so i complained to other two fellow members in the alliance the one that relocated but still have an account in the alliance, and another with a girlish nick that i need to jump ship.. within that moment, the former suggested me to jump into the alliance he parked his main account at. basically he had been trying to recruit a few of us into this alliance because they wanted to join some other game activities that required certain level of shelters, and must be active players.

this time, i just accepted the suggestion, and made my mind. it was done very quickly within 5 hours. hahaha.. coz the alliance only accepts members referred by their members. so i need to wait for the lady boss to approve me. and then i relocated with lots of difficulties. hahaha. it was so difficult to relocate due to different region. but once i did. i felt comfortable. i had my shelter located next to the river.

i then had a sense of peace, mixed with some sadness. because i was happy in that alliance even though it was frustrating at times due to the number inactive members. if they were to stay closer to the main location, we could also have the number of players to play all the activities organised for the players. now recalling this.. it's just some players are just weird. they just expect others in the alliance to help them out without reciprocating.

anyways...

after relocating... my friend with the girlish nick suddenly said he wanna follow me. then within the next few hours, he joined me in the new alliance. then another junior member followed me. the next few days, another fellow player followed. and with my departure and the girlish nick, the alliance became dead.

the egoistic alliance leader messaged me the next day with an eww feeling kind of messaged. the words he said the day before was bitter and.... not fit for anyone to read. he was just simply throwing off his power at me that he has the right to do anything he wants. ok.. so do i. HAHAHAAH. i did by changing into a more active alliance, a s s h o l e.

he said that we were a family and that i should leave family just because we fought. it's normal to have fight, and recover. yea.. but ass 0... u said i hated u... and how everyone also hated u just because u got low self-esteem.. it's not my job to make u feel safe and good...

and he added that if i ignored his message, he would message me everyday. omg. i don't need an ass to do that. so i quickly replied him that i'm happy in the new alliance without talking much about my true feelings. i knew he tried to manipulate me. and i hated it. oh i forgot to mention that he begged me to come back. why do that in the first place? i just repeatedly told him that the hurt inflicted on to me cannot be undone. so be it.

he also begged my other friend to go back by hanging the alliance leader role as a carrot. but my friend didn't take the bait, and also said he felt happy in the new alliance. we both felt happy because we now didn't have any responsibilities. why the former leader begged us to return because we were his right and left hand. and he lose it within a day. what a shock for him. i cannot empathise, and don't want to since he thinks he is such a mighty player.

i talked to my introducer, and he also said how this egoistic leader never take consideration of other members. that was why the last player joined us, because he was hurt too. i bashed the leader in the general chat because i could not withstand how he likes to public shame other players. this player was the first victim i saw. it made me feel uncomfortable reading how he generally messaged in the group 'how no one helped him build tower.' and this player apologetically responded that he had no troops to do so.

man...

long story short... another weak member joined me weeks after my departure. i was happy that i recruited her. she was very nice to talk to me... and she shared how unhappy she was in the alliance because it was so dead... nobody talked anymore in the group chat....

and so she is happy with us now.... i'm happy with my two fellow friends too. we talked about the game almost on a daily basis. i know i will feel sad if i lose touch with them. man... i hope our friendship can last.

i realised the camaraderie is a main factor of keeping players in the game. i think that's for me.

soooo the former alliance is pretty dead now.... not my job to revive it.. my job now is to watch my shelter grow. =)

i have finally found a forever home for my shelter.