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Speak to My Finger
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Wednesday. 2.1.23 9:30 am
so ... i've been gaslighted by a bunch of people for just asking honest questions in class? i mean is there anything wrong with asking for confirmation what time the class ends on a Chinese celebration festival day? and i'm celebrating it.

at first, i may have felt myself for being obnoxious for being direct to others, but in reflection, i really got no idea how to be less direct. coz i'm asking real valid questions in class like 'so do we submit in xx or aa form?' when the whole class is giving different answer?

i've been told that this situation is affecting my relationship with my supervisor, and there's an expectation to fix it. i agree when i'm the one that always prioritises relationship especially i need it to make things work. but for this, i'm at loss. on reflecting, i can't see how it is my fault for being critical on the procedures and instructions of the assessment. can u imagine the exam questions can contain question outside of your textbook? and u shall bring that question into your coffin for trying to think why you haven't remember that syllabus when it's not even covered by the lecturer.

how can i be less critical? am i not allowing myself to work in a non-perfect order? no. i figure myself as flexible, but can be rigid also, but as long as i know the rules and order clearly, then i can work freely to my whim. all i am asking now is to gain better clarity, not because i've nothing to do. r u telling me i cannot ask questions to have a better understanding? i didn't ask irrelevant questions. because i ask 'stupid' questions, all of you have clarity/confirmation on what you understand.

why am i the only critical? there r so many others in the group, why didn't they voice out? why am i the only one? because that matter has not affected them, until the deadline is near, or they r the ones who suddenly got confused with their information at hand.

by not answering my questions in the chat group is to avoid conflict, by also hoping that some answer would appear on its own.

i talked to some individuals from the group, and they also realised the instructions were unclear and inefficient. some discrepancy was glaring. unfortunately, they won't voice out.

well, i get it. being selfish is the best policy to move forward.



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