i don't know why i'm remembering this memory now.

i spilled my father's white tablets onto the ground where it was was very dusty. my father at that time had been very sick with fever i think, returned home from the clinic and was sleeping. when he woke up, mother told him what i did. all he did was drove back to the clinic to get the medicine.

i was around 5 or lesser at that time.

i don't know the significant of this memory surfacing. but i could feel my pain of not knowing my father's pain while living his life.

it hits me of not knowing him at all.

touching his belonging opens up my grief for him.

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