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Speak to My Finger
Meowing WAR

Books I have completed reading since January 2018:

1. No Man's Nightingale - Ruth Rendell
2. One Day - David Nicholls
3. The Door - Margaret Atwood
4. Silas Marner
5. A class of act
6. Spiral - Paul McEuen
Too late
Tuesday. 12.5.17 1:17 pm
The song Apologise by Timbaland started to play in my head the moment I decided to write my mind.

The guy I used to be crazy about had sent me a second message via FB recently. The first was I miss you! The second was you looked great in this picture.

Unfortunately it was all too late. The last sentence that prompted me dump you was you said "you look like a bastard" when I showed you my new hair cut.

And now the sweet words.

Who would be so stupid to fall for you again after those hurtful words? That won't be me.

I am not desperate. After I found my freedom after dumping him, seriously, I realised I love myself more and this time I really don't want to be in a relationship. I suddenly remember how comfortable I am to be with myself. I think this is something people don't really understand. They keep telling me I am too weird and I just have to grab someone to marry just so I can be like anyone in the society regardless of my happiness level. I think they say so because they cannot withstand the loneliness, because they don't understand the meaning of being lonely.

What does lonely mean? It's the yearning feeling to be with others, be it talking or interacting. Why do we have to feel lonely when we are in the company of 'I'? I as in myself. Yes, we can talk to ourselves. We can ask ourselves what makes us happy. We can accompany ourselves to do the things that make us happy?? Do you remember the time you do silly things and then you just laugh at yourself? Why do we prefer others to make us happy?

I don't feel lonely.

Nor I am against others being in a relationship. I congratulate them! But just don't rub on me that I too need to get married just to be devoid of loneliness.

I am back to having a solitary life, a balance one that is. I still mix with my friends and I am involved in social activities.

Whatever he is doing... won't affect me. What a chameleon he is. Good looking for foul mouth dimwit. The worse.



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