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Speak to My Finger
Meowing WAR

Books I have completed reading since January 2018:

1. No Man's Nightingale - Ruth Rendell
2. One Day - David Nicholls
3. The Door - Margaret Atwood
This is Bye?
Sunday. 5.14.17 11:04 am
I have, again, spoken to this friend despite receiving thorns in his sentences in August 2016. And I feel this time is no difference. Another thorn in the sentence. Is it necessary, dude? Thank god I didn't share my current line-up activities with you. You are surely going to hit me with a storm of thorns and I certainly don't need some sarcasm from you.

We were just chatting the usual topic like how's life and what's up. He asked how are my plans like studying masters and what not. All I did was to deflect by answering I am burnt out and all plans are put on hold. For financial activities wise, I just say I am focusing on savings. Ok fine. And because we were initially talking about my selfies which were a lot nicer now... thanks to make up and whatever other factors, he complimented them that I look much better now. So I replied him that I am still consuming the supplements that were recommended by him as well as other brands. The immediate reply was "Wow, I don't know how you have so much money." Yea. the supplements recommended by him are very very expensive, but I consume on and off. And what the fuck do you want me to do when I am told I have borderline health problems that need medication? The supplement I'm taking now is to control it from worsening. So what the fuck do you want me to do? Focus on savings until my health problem deteriorates? And then use all the savings I saved to spend on medication which will be more expensive than supplements... because it will involve surgery if worsen. Damn you, dude.

You are not in any better health than I do. You got symptoms popping out around your eyes. No sickness does not mean you are healthy. I am trying my best to stay healthy. No health no wealth, no wealth no health. No difference actually. It does not matter if I work full time because I will still be doing something else on the weekend and after work! You can't fucking stop me from gaining new experiences!

The bitter truth is sometimes we have to let go friends who are not aligned with us anymore. Come on, try retrospecting, did I ever fucking give you the same treatment like you did to me? Did I ever say words that make you uncomfortable negatively? Your words are not propelling me to be better. Your words are spilling over fear and whatever negative emo to me and it's not my fault to begin with. Don't ever inflict pain in others because you are in pain. I can listen to your pain but that's it. We often tell others our pain repetitively and we forgot the pain that we caused in those listeners in a way.

I have enough of these thorny words, dude. I was happy to be going to Hiroshima again in August 2016, and you immediately jumped the gun "Oh you are not saving anymore?" When I said it was a free trip in return escorting a kid, and you question ed it like "isn't that a stupid job?". Whatever it is, you brought this unto yourself. I have said so many times that there are opportunities out there to achieve what we want. I have proven many times by getting free trip to go abroad. So what's the problem?

You said you got no money. Fine. You have fantastic writing skills. So I suggested to write a book. You said bla bla. But you know what? A bestseller book I have read somewhere took the author 17 years to write. Bla bla? Start writing now, dude then maybe you can earn royalties in the future. Book is a no? Ok then, give writing course? Bla bla. Again, dude. You got so many excuses. So many skills to earn money yet so many excuses. Design something related to writing and sell it for USD 5. Sound little but if you have 10 people buy per day and the other day and also the other days in the future.. are you not already ahead of others in earning foreign income? Ok. Fair. I may not know the writing world very well. All I know is I want to write a book and I need to learn from scratch! How frustrating I am when I see others fretting such stuff!

Anyways... also.. sometimes we don't have to share all of our dreams and information with our close friends and family. How sad is that, isn't it?

I moved to Louisiana. It's about 12 hours away from where I used to live. An entirely different part of the country. Thankfully I have a few friends over here because I'm really far away from most of my friend and my family.
» middaymoon on 2017-05-28 12:03:03



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